Love Bytes

I have a guy friend who recently started a new relationship with a girl he knows. I met her through him, and we always hang out together as a group. I’ve known him longer, and I’m also close friends with his family. Recently, she told me that they got into a bad argument, and she’s not sure if he’s going to forgive her. He also mentioned to me that they were having some problems. I have a feeling that she’s talking to her ex-boyfriend again, but I’m not sure if I should tell him or not. What if I’m wrong, and what if he believes her over me and I loose two friends…..She mentioned to me that her ex has been calling, and I’m 99 percent sure that they’ve talked. She also told me that my friend would be very upset at her if he knew. I don’t know what to do! I just want to stay out of it, but I don’t want my guy friend to get hurt, either.

I met a girl recently at a bar and asked for her phone number. After talking on the phone a few times, I asked if I could take her out on a date. I’m not sure where to take her on a first date. I’m 25 and she’s 23. We both like to go out to bars, but I want to take her somewhere that we can have a conversation where I can get to know her better. What would be a good place to go to?

Personally, I would want to go to dinner or a cafe. Or a quiet bar where the music won’t drown out our conversation. Also, you can’t really talk at a movie, so if you do that, I would suggest going somewhere else afterward. Getting ice cream is always fun, too.

My best friend and I hang out alot but we have a problem. She makes less money than I do and always feels she can’t afford to go out. She insists that we rent movies and stay home every weekend. We’re never going to meet guys doing this. We could be going to places that don’t cost much money…like cafes or Starbucks…but she doesn’t want to. Am I being selfish and inconsiderate?  We’re both in our late 20’s and it would be nice to meet some guys.

Maybe your friend can’t afford to go out, but that doesn’t mean you should stop hanging out with her. Maybe you can still see her, and hang out with her on movie nights, and then go out with another group of friends who can afford to go out. You shoudln’t ditch your friend, but you also shouldn’t hinder what you want to do because she can’t afford to go out.

Everytime my boyfriend moves he breaks upwith me.When he went to college and I was in high school, he ended the relationship. We resumed our relationship when I attended the same college. He has now been accepted into a prestigious medical school and is moving out of state. I want to move with him but he said no and broke up with me again. I am devastated. We dated for more than 4 years…and I really love him. Was this a relationship of convenience for him or what? What should I do?

I gave my ex a big engagement ring. One month before the wedding she called it off. Would it be OK if I ask for the ring…it was very expensive and since it has no meaning to her anymore…why not?

I have a question to pose to everyone who works out, just to start a dialogue. “It’s for fun.” :) I’ve heard many opinions about this from friends.

Would you consider approaching and meeting someone who works out at the same gym that you do and asking them out on a date???

So many pros and cons to this. Let’s start with the pros.

1. You both share a passion for fitness.

2. You can spend time together getting fit and healthy.

3. You can go out to eat at healthy restaurants together. I always think it’s easier to eat healthy when the person you’re with does too.

 I’m probably missing a lot. How about some of the obvious cons:

1. The person may be in a relationship already, or may just not be interested, and you may get rejected. Then you’d have to face that person on a regular basis. Talk about AWKWARD. And I don’t know about you, but I want to feel as comfortable as possible while working out.

2. Some people don’t want to be bothered when they’re working out - AT ALL - and may get mad to be interrupted or even offended by people trying to socialize or pick up dates at the gym. 

3. If the person is at the gym that much, they might be really shallow or vain.

4. It’s not easy to approach someone while you feel like you don’t look your best. (I know wearing old dingy workout clothes while out of breath and sweaty isn’t my best look.)

5. You really have no idea what the person is about other than they work out and what they look like, which isn’t much.

What do you guys think????

- TARA

Why are women not crazy about short guys? I have a lot to offer a fine lady… good income, a home, sporty car and I love to cook romantic dinners. So what gives?

Short guys are hot too! One of my friends is usually attracted to tall guys, but they all seem to be jerks. She’s now dating a shorter guy and he’s awesome and treats her like a queen. So I guess my theory about that is don’t be so concerned about height, be concerned with the way he treats you. Some say a man’s greatness is measured from his head to the sky not from his head to the ground, and if so, short guys win this one.

Personally, I don’t automatically single out tall guys in a crowd or turn down short guys - height isn’t really a determining factor for me in what I find attractive in a guy. However, I know there are people out there shallow enough to turn down a guy based on his height. Every different person has different preferences as to what they find attractive in the opposite sex. And for every girl out there who may say, “He’s too short,” - I think there are just as many, if not more, women out there who would not even consider your height. I think any mature woman with a good head on her shoulders would look at a guy for what he has to offer - and you said you have a lot to offer a woman. It takes time to meet someone special. Don’t get discouraged. - TARA

Why do men fear commitment? What does a man really mean when he says “I’m just not ready for a girlfriend?” What are men waiting for? Or do they use this an excuse instead of simply saying “I’m just not that interested in you” Why does commitment have to be a bad thing?

I don’t think it’s fair to say that only “men fear committment.” I think that anyone who’s not ready to settle down - whether it be a man or a woman - could be considered to have a “fear of committment.” I know plenty of young, single women who want to focus on careers or just aren’t ready to get married or be tied down to someone. If someone’s not ready, they’re not going to be ready for anyone until they make up their minds that they are - and that won’t change for anyone. However, i also think this can be used as an excuse if they’re not into you. Just depends on the person. Either way, though, not worth the wait - move on and find someone who won’t give you any excuses. - TARA

I recently went to visit one of my best friends in San Antonio, and as we were catching up at a local bar, she told me about an incident that happened to her the weekend before. We’ll call my friend Stacey.

It made me realize, that along with all of the fun and excitement of meeting new people and dating, the most important thing is to be careful! (Not to sound too much like an overly paranoid parent….)

 Stacey met a guy (we’ll call him Josh) at the bar that’s a normal hangout for her and her friends. Stacey and Josh hit it off, danced all night long, and at the end of the night, Josh asked Stacey to give him a lift to his apartment, which was a few blocks away. Stacey was glad to give her new friend a ride home and took his cap off and put it on her head as they walked to her car.

When Stacey and Josh arrived at his apartment complex, Josh said that the Jeep parked in the middle of the road with someone in the drivers seat was his car. Stacey stopped her car next to the Jeep, and saw a girl in the driver’s seat.

THEN - Josh yells out the window, “OH, hey baby!” Apparently, Josh had a girlfriend who was driving around in his Jeep searching for him at 2 in the morning. Josh’s girlfriend flips out, and screams at him, “Why is that girl wearing your cap??!!” (Why the first question out of her mouth was what he was doing in another girl’s car - who knows.) Needless to say, my friend kicked Josh out of her car with a few choice words, gave him his cap and never spoke to him again. It’s a funny story now that she looks back - but you never know who you’re talking to when you go out and meet new people. I’m not saying that people out there need to shut themselves out from everyone and anyone - but be cautious! - TARA

What makes a man lose interest in a women? I dated Jon for one year, went to all of his family events and all four of his friends weddings. I thought everything was going well…but after the last wedding he broke up with me saying he lost interest in me. How can a man lose interest without me seeing any signs?  Help…

I think you need to focus on moving on instead of why things went wrong. Dwelling on the past won’t make you feel better. Just know that he wasn’t the one for you - and whatever his reason was - I’m sure he’s missing out on a great girl. Know your worth and find someone else who will know your worth, too. - TARA