When is enough, enough?
Of course relationships have their ups and downs, but when is it really time to let go? If you love someone it can be easy to forgive that person for their mistakes, but at the same time when do you put an end to just always accepting an apology and putting your foot down? Should you forgive someone if they cheat on you? Under what circumstances do people deserve a second, or third, of fourth, etc. chance? Under what circumstances would you be willing or not willing to forgive someone you love?- Mila
If you have to keep breaking up with the person because of cheating, then it’s time to dump them. That’s one thing that will not stop, or a wandering brain or eyes will not stop and the attention will never fully be on your relationship or marriage.
Chiquita, first of all, nobody should get a fourth chance. When someone keeps hurting you, show them the door. Secondly, letting go of a relationship isn’t easy, no matter how challenging the relationship was. But setting boundaries and knowing the difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic one can help you make wiser choices. Ask yourself some questions: Are you being treated with respect? Do you feel secure and comfortable in your relationship? Does he/she take an interest in your life? Is there honest and open nonviolent communication? If you answered “NO” to any of those questions, it’s time to move on. Keep in mind that one of the strongest signs of a healthy relationship is that both people feel good about themselves. Self-respect and believing in your right to be treated well are important steps towards developing a mutually satisfying, successful and loving relationship in the future.
Im in your same shoes right now. Im devastated on how things ended after 2 1/2 years. He started neglecting me, always busy for me, stopped calling/texting as he used to, would never have his phone around me,claimed to always be playing poker till late hours of the morning.Things hadn’t been that great for a while and my gut started telling me that he was indeed seeing someone else. He kept denying this of course. I was desperate to the point of feeling the need to either start spying on him or buying a gps device to put in his car to find out the truth. Well it turns out one of the nights i was waiting for him outside his house & calling him like crazy a few hours later he answers my call, claims to have been playing poker & then when i tell him i had gone to look for him at one of the places he plays, he gets furious. He hangs up on me & then calls me back & a girl is on the line with him.She tells me she is his girlfriend & would really appreciate if I left him alone. Then he tells her he is on his way to spend the night with her. Can you believe that? Here I am asking him for the truth for a while now, & every single time he kept saying I was the only one for him - then all of a sudden he stabs my heart. He showed up 5 minutes later, i confront him but he still denies he is seeing someone & claims she was just a friend & that the only reason she said that was because he wanted to make me feel bad for my action of trying to embarass him by looking for him with his friends. I tell him that the only way I’ll believe him is by making her call me & tell me it wasnt true.He refused, saying she didnt like me, so she wasnt going to do it. Next day before leaving his house I go thru his stuff, i find condoms. We do not use condoms, so i confront him again & he still denies he is seeing someone else, claims they had been there for a long time. LIES! I finally had the will to change my number. Im trying really hard to not look for him nor call him. He hasnt done any effort to look for me either. It hurts me so much that this man didnt have the courage to come out clean & leave me as he did-with a broken heart, hard feelings, & full of doubts. But im glad i finally realized that he’s not worth any more of my tears. Im moving on.