Two months ago, my brother told me he’s gay. I am stunned. He always hung with a bunch of guys but had a number of girlfriends in the past. His relationships lasted for months and sometimes a year. I never thought my brother was anything but heterosexual.
Last week I met his “friend” and it made me sick. It was very hard for me to be around them. I still love my brother but I feel a great loss. I don’t think I’ll ever support or accept his new lifestyle. Our parents would be devastated if they knew. They have strong religious beliefs and strongly oppose gay and bisexual relationships.
I’m married with several kids. My wife opposes gay relationships but she says I need to accept my brother’s wishes and maintain the same a relationship with him. I feel like I’ve lost the one sibling I have. We were always very close, hung out a lot and confided with each other…just like brothers do. I can’t do that anymore.
We’ll be visiting our parents for Mother’s Day and my brother wants to bring his gay friend. No way in hell should he bring him and ruin Mom’s special day.
If he wants to live like that…that’s his life. I think he should keep it private. Why destroy my parents lives? They’re elderly, love their children and grandchildren, so what’s the point of telling them or bringing his “friend” to family gatherings? He needs to stay away.
In this regards, you are being very immature about the situation. Homosexuality is something genetically he can’t control. Homosexuality doesn’t just pop out of nowhere, he probably hid these desires for years to appease the family. Imagine the courage it took just to come out, in the first place only to get shunned by the ones he loves. Prior to that moment, I bet you loved him, and the fact is the only thing that has changed is his sexual orientation. He still is the same kid you grew up with.
Ultimately, if his new lifestyle with his boyfriend disgusts you, sit down, and talk about it with him. It will be hard, but it needs to be done. The best piece of advice I can give you is try to maintain a open line of communication to help resolve this tension between the family and your brother. Silence resolves nothing.
I think that you are being very ignorant about this whole thing with your brother. Does it really matter if he’s in love with a man or a woman? Yes for some people it goes against what we were forced to believe. But LOVE is LOVE. That’s the bottomline. He didn’t find it in a woman and he’s found it in a man, big deal. Let him be happy. Love has no boundaries. Yes your parents might be hurt by this but all of you have to face the fact that times are changing. We don’t live in the 1950s anymore. You should accept it and embrace your brother with the same love you had with him before. Before I go, here’s another thing…if you have the chance, sit with him and tell him how you feel and what it might possibly do to your parents and just ask him to be respectful and to not be openly affection with his lover, because that would be very disrespectful and treat his new love as if he was just an old family friend. Your parents don’t have to know right away, when the time is right, tell them….but for now just keep it the way it is. No harm in that. The key here is to keep the lines of communication open, he is your blood and nothing should ever keep the both of you from being brothers.