Love Bytes

My friend and I were at a local club catching up on everything over a glass of wine. This handsome guy came to our table. He was so HOT. We engaged in a brief but flirtatious conversation and exchanged numbers. It’s been over one week and he hasn’t even called. I want to call him but I’m afraid to be rejected. I searched myspace and facebook…but no luck. He’s all I think about!  What should I do? — Liz, still waiting in McAllen

Love Bytes readers…what would you do if you were Liz?

Fed up writes that she always seems to get stuck in the “friend” mode.  She has no problem meeting guys, talking to guys or becoming the guy’s best friend.  But who wants that all the time.  She just met a super cute and nice guy and is having trouble getting past the “friend” thing. They’ve gone out several times but nothing happens. Talk about frustration…always the friend and never the good stuff.  What should she do?  How do you get out of the “friend” mode?

Everytime my boyfriend moves he breaks upwith me.When he went to college and I was in high school, he ended the relationship. We resumed our relationship when I attended the same college. He has now been accepted into a prestigious medical school and is moving out of state. I want to move with him but he said no and broke up with me again. I am devastated. We dated for more than 4 years…and I really love him. Was this a relationship of convenience for him or what? What should I do?

Why are women not crazy about short guys? I have a lot to offer a fine lady… good income, a home, sporty car and I love to cook romantic dinners. So what gives?

Short guys are hot too! One of my friends is usually attracted to tall guys, but they all seem to be jerks. She’s now dating a shorter guy and he’s awesome and treats her like a queen. So I guess my theory about that is don’t be so concerned about height, be concerned with the way he treats you. Some say a man’s greatness is measured from his head to the sky not from his head to the ground, and if so, short guys win this one.

Personally, I don’t automatically single out tall guys in a crowd or turn down short guys - height isn’t really a determining factor for me in what I find attractive in a guy. However, I know there are people out there shallow enough to turn down a guy based on his height. Every different person has different preferences as to what they find attractive in the opposite sex. And for every girl out there who may say, “He’s too short,” - I think there are just as many, if not more, women out there who would not even consider your height. I think any mature woman with a good head on her shoulders would look at a guy for what he has to offer - and you said you have a lot to offer a woman. It takes time to meet someone special. Don’t get discouraged. - TARA

Why do men fear commitment? What does a man really mean when he says “I’m just not ready for a girlfriend?” What are men waiting for? Or do they use this an excuse instead of simply saying “I’m just not that interested in you” Why does commitment have to be a bad thing?

I don’t think it’s fair to say that only “men fear committment.” I think that anyone who’s not ready to settle down - whether it be a man or a woman - could be considered to have a “fear of committment.” I know plenty of young, single women who want to focus on careers or just aren’t ready to get married or be tied down to someone. If someone’s not ready, they’re not going to be ready for anyone until they make up their minds that they are - and that won’t change for anyone. However, i also think this can be used as an excuse if they’re not into you. Just depends on the person. Either way, though, not worth the wait - move on and find someone who won’t give you any excuses. - TARA

How do you know when it’s love? Is it when just at the thought of that special person you get a nice little nudge in your heart and literally feel weakness come over your entire body for a split second? Is it when a certain song or a certain smell takes you back to a special time you shared with your honey? Is it when thoughts of happiness fill your mind when you think of your future together? I think it’s love. How do you know if it’s love?

I think love is different for everyone. I can tell you that for me, I thought I fell in love once when I couldn’t get enough of the guy I was dating. I thought of him all of the time and did everything for him. BUT, he didn’t feel the same and was playing me for a fool. I always had my suspicions, but didn’t listen to my instincts.

I realized that it wasn’t love - but not until years later when I met a guy who I actually trusted, and had fun with and could be myself around. The main difference between the two was the trust issue. I think when you love someone who feels the same way about you - that’s true love. When you know that they’ll put you first above everything else and would never dream of hurting you or could even think of being with anyone else.

How do you know when a guy/girl really, really likes you? I mean, what if you’re dating someone that tells you that they care about you so much and that you’re important to them, but yet for some reason, you’re still not convinced if they really mean that or not? What do you do? What are the signs that someone really, really likes you? How can you tell if they’re just dating you without them looking for the possibility of a commitment? How long should you wait after you’ve been dating someone before you make it a serious and exclusive relationship?

When is enough, enough?

  Of course relationships have their ups and downs, but when is it really time to let go? If you love someone it can be easy to forgive that person for their mistakes, but at the same time when do you put an end to just always accepting an apology and putting your foot down? Should you forgive someone if they cheat on you? Under what circumstances do people deserve a second, or third, of fourth, etc. chance? Under what circumstances would you be willing or not willing to forgive someone you love?- Mila

Is long distance love a bad idea or can it work? I think it depends. If you just met someone and they move to a different city or state, I think it’s hard to establish a solid foundation to your relationship. But if you and your significant other already have a strong foundation as a couple, without any major problems, lets say like any previous infidelities, I think the relationship has a shot. However, long distance relationships are hard not only emotionally, but also financially. You’re going to want to see each other eventually or quite often in some cases, and with the price of everything these days, the pocket could take a good hit.If it’s a very serious relationship why not consider moving with your significant other? If it’s not a serious relationship, why not just let things go and appreciate the moments you got to share with that person? Either way, the decision will be hard, but I think if clear thinking goes into the decision, then you’re bound to make the right choice. Just remember, whatever decision you make, be honest with yourself and be honest with your heart.What do you think of long distance relationships? Can they work or are they doomed to fail?

  Long distance relationships can work out, but it takes two for it to work. If one puts more effort it the relationship and then it wont. Sounds familiar? It should, because you need two people to make it work. It doesnt matter if your living 30 seconds away or 30,000 miles away. Long distance relationships will take a hard hit on your pocket, but if you play your cards right you can always find deals for traveling or take turns on visiting. Again it will take two for this to work. Play it right by planning ahead of time and not waiting till the last minute. You can also split a plane or bus ticket to make it cheaper. Its not really easy to drop everything that you have and move with your significant other. You have to think about your life too. If your significant other is settled down with a good and stable job, then I suggest you take a chance, but if they are not and then dont risk it. Before thinking of moving you might want to stop and thinking how things are going between you two. Have a good talk and see where the relationship is going. Dont forget that taking a risk is part of life, but be wise and enjoy life to its greatest. Always have a friend to have your back in case everything fails. - Dreamer 

Me and my boyfriend decided to move in together a month ago since we both found jobs in the same city and spend almost all of our free time together. In the beginning, he was working, but not enought to pay his half of the bills. Then, five months ago, he lost his job, and has not found one since. I’m tired of being the only financially responsible one in this relationship, but I do love him and he is the only guy I’ve ever dated who has been faithful to me and that I get along with. He seem perfect in every other way. I don’t know how long to wait for him to get his act together before giving up on my almost perfect guy.